For we are all hypocrites.
Talking with Jacob is always such a deep and meaningful experience. He's a mature guy, and knows more than most. And talking with him today helped me discover more, about the world and myself.
He told me this story, and somehow, it really moved me. It goes something like this...
One day, on a construction site, an unfortunate accident occurred. An explosion, that sent a metal pipe through a poor worker's head. Yet miraculously, after removing the pipe in the hospital, he managed to live. Not without a cost.
Somehow, the pipe managed to totally decimate the center in the brain responsible for emotions... and so, he could no longer feel joy, sorrow, love, passion. In a television interview, after watching a clip of a man laughing, he could only point and say 'I don't know how to do that. I can't kill myself, because I don't know how to feel sad, and I have no wife, no friends. They all left me.'
I found this so tragic. That's all I can really say. So sad a story. It moved me. Evidently, strong emotions are like a double-edged sword.
Also, in addition to his mature nature, he is. So. Fresh. Wow. I can't even fully describe it. I mean, everyone knows he is sick, but I think that only I know just how much skill, talent, potential and musicality he has. He's going to be something great, in fact, he IS something great.
In any case, my legs are very sore, and tired, and inhibited me from dancing to my best tonight at BlackOut. But it was a fun experience, and I think for the most part, everyone had fun. I'm glad Mike came, that was cool.
Also, it's a shame David An is back in Korea. Everyone misses him, and it was a shame he couldn't be here tonight.
In other news... there seemed to be a hair trapped in my right ear that bugged me all day. It's fixed now.
And that is all.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
oct.24.2008ii
As I sip my Tropicana, my taste buds trigger my memories, as they rewind a decade back. When Orange Juice was more a luxury than anything. When life was simple, when I was a happy little boy.
Look at me now.
...
I'm at an all time low. Mentally, I've hit a slump. My predicament multiplied with every long distance phone call with my mother.
I had to trek down to North York, spend some time with Alix, just to get away from it all, and unwind. There's too much stress, and I'm breaking. But I can't talk like this. I have to stay strong, and brave the elements. I can't look back, I can only move on.
Look at me now.
...
I'm at an all time low. Mentally, I've hit a slump. My predicament multiplied with every long distance phone call with my mother.
I had to trek down to North York, spend some time with Alix, just to get away from it all, and unwind. There's too much stress, and I'm breaking. But I can't talk like this. I have to stay strong, and brave the elements. I can't look back, I can only move on.
oct.24.2008
From October 23, 2008.
As I regale my tale,
My mind sets sail as the trumpets wail
In the background, dim and pale
I try to fight it tooth and nail
The struggle is mounting
Trouble compounding
SOS I'm sounding
My need to impede the pounding
Received in my life, my days
Maybe it's the cause of my ways
That pays no dividends, but I hold it at bay
Hoping maybe it'll go away
but at the end of the day it stays
In my face impaling my senses
Disgraced, my vision distorts in my lenses
I'm losing my defenses
All these false pretenses
Might I mention
That this pretention
is nothing but an unworthy detention
of the mind, to release the tension
that is mounting, building
The ocean of despairs hopelessly filling
Despite my initialy feelins, it's not that thrillin
in fact its chillin
my get shivers fearing it, no longer willing
to carry through
in my hapless youth.
but what happens to me mgiht happen to you
but im not rapping to you
it just happens that my mind is tappin
me on the shoulder saying
that maybe i should be relaying
how i feel to others that might be payin
attention to what im prayin
but in fact the truth is something thats icey cold
and my beliefs is somethin that might be old
right? see i told
you that i'd be right, inside
but my insight gave me my light
a bit late, grave danger as im no longer right
i stand at a precarious height
might i add that i fright
so easily at anything in sight, so tonight
leave me be as i sit tight
heaving my life into this site
As I regale my tale,
My mind sets sail as the trumpets wail
In the background, dim and pale
I try to fight it tooth and nail
The struggle is mounting
Trouble compounding
SOS I'm sounding
My need to impede the pounding
Received in my life, my days
Maybe it's the cause of my ways
That pays no dividends, but I hold it at bay
Hoping maybe it'll go away
but at the end of the day it stays
In my face impaling my senses
Disgraced, my vision distorts in my lenses
I'm losing my defenses
All these false pretenses
Might I mention
That this pretention
is nothing but an unworthy detention
of the mind, to release the tension
that is mounting, building
The ocean of despairs hopelessly filling
Despite my initialy feelins, it's not that thrillin
in fact its chillin
my get shivers fearing it, no longer willing
to carry through
in my hapless youth.
but what happens to me mgiht happen to you
but im not rapping to you
it just happens that my mind is tappin
me on the shoulder saying
that maybe i should be relaying
how i feel to others that might be payin
attention to what im prayin
but in fact the truth is something thats icey cold
and my beliefs is somethin that might be old
right? see i told
you that i'd be right, inside
but my insight gave me my light
a bit late, grave danger as im no longer right
i stand at a precarious height
might i add that i fright
so easily at anything in sight, so tonight
leave me be as i sit tight
heaving my life into this site
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
oct.22.2008
It's been a while since I've posted anything, not that I'm doing this so people can read it. I blog as I go, whatever.
A few memories worth taking note of:
Rap battling. How long ago has that been, eh? But it's cool. Got some nice rhymes down and ripped some noobs. What can I say.
In any case, dance club is going great. Although I know I'm not as nice a person as I like to think that I am. That being said, I think it's good that I get to spread the knowledge of hiphop to other people, despite the fact that they probably don't see it the way I do. I can't really find someone that does, but maybe that's just me being critical.
Anyways, I learned a few new moves.
And in other news...
It's going to be a rough few months, I'll say that much.
A few memories worth taking note of:
Rap battling. How long ago has that been, eh? But it's cool. Got some nice rhymes down and ripped some noobs. What can I say.
In any case, dance club is going great. Although I know I'm not as nice a person as I like to think that I am. That being said, I think it's good that I get to spread the knowledge of hiphop to other people, despite the fact that they probably don't see it the way I do. I can't really find someone that does, but maybe that's just me being critical.
Anyways, I learned a few new moves.
And in other news...
It's going to be a rough few months, I'll say that much.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
oct.11.2008
Reed:
How Zimu became a black man.
Episode I: Playing the saxophone.
Episode II: Breakdancing.
Episode III: Listening to funk and R&B
Episode IV: Wearing an afro.
Episode V: Appearing regularly in blackface.
Episode VI: Stealin' bikes, doin' crack, and shootin' hoes.
you laugh now
when you're in jail in the US of A you won't think its so funny
How Zimu became a black man.
Episode I: Playing the saxophone.
Episode II: Breakdancing.
Episode III: Listening to funk and R&B
Episode IV: Wearing an afro.
Episode V: Appearing regularly in blackface.
Episode VI: Stealin' bikes, doin' crack, and shootin' hoes.
you laugh now
when you're in jail in the US of A you won't think its so funny
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